At times, the world views my twin sister and me as one entity, as if we’re exact copies of each other. What’s crazy about it is that we’re fraternal twins. It’s easy to tell us apart, yet even people we’ve known for years still mix us up every now and then. Seemingly, we look identical, and to add to the confusion, we act identically too. That alone tells me that some people don’t take the time to slow down and really look at or get to know us.
On the other hand, when the world recognizes our differences, it’s far from the truth. We’re seen as polar opposites, and every time, my sister is compared to sunshine, and I, rainy days. In reality, it’s not that simple. We are similar and different in many ways… just not in the ways that most people think.
Good Read: INFJ Personality (The Advocate)
My sister and I are Diplomats in the world of MBTI. She is an ENFJ, also known as the Protagonist, while I’m an INFJ or the Advocate. Because Diplomats are intuitive and feeling individuals, they highly value empathy and understanding. Unfortunately, this form of idealism can become an issue when they’re faced with making practical decisions. But, if this is overcome, their duty as peacemakers promotes their end goal: to become catalysts for positive change. And, though ENFJs and INFJs are both Diplomats, the way they approach the world and how they contribute to it is surprisingly different.
Only one letter sets apart the ENFJ and INFJ. One is an extravert, and the other, an introvert. In other words, one gains their energy by spending time around people, while the other gains theirs through solitude.
Even so, both types have the same four functions:
Introverted Intuition (Ni),
Extraverted Feeling (Fe),
Introverted Thinking (Ti),
and Extraverted Sensing (Se).
But, the difference between ENFJs and INFJs is the order in which they use these functions.
For ENFJs, their dominant, or first function is extraverted feeling. They have amazing people skills because of their ability to quickly emphasize with those around them. In other words, they can walk into a room and feel what others are feeling almost instantly, allowing them to come to a clear understanding of the room’s overall mood. And, once they understand the atmosphere they’re in, they can change it to how they see fit for the better.
For INFJs, extraverted feeling is a secondary function. Though they share people skills with ENFJs, it seems like an afterthought, rather than a priority, to the outside world. This is why they seem less social than their extraverted counterparts. They’re the ones who take a little longer to analyze a room before taking action. This analysis is their dominant function, introverted intuition, being put to work. When INFJs walk into a room, they rely on their intuition or gut feeling to understand the room’s overall mood. They gather pieces of abstract information, such as body language, time of day, or even previous memories to form patterns in their minds that fit together like puzzle pieces. This information eventually creates a big, clear picture that helps them makes sense of the world around them. And, though it’s secondary, ENFJs also share this unique trait.
Third and fourth come introverted thinking and extraverted sensing for INFJs and in the reverse order for ENFJs. Introverted thinkers strive to use logic to create a map of related and unrelated concepts that connect beautifully in order to support one of their goals: to have a more efficient and abundant life. The only difference between the two personality types is that INFJs tend to stay in their heads longer. This explains why ENFJs have a stronger extraverted sensing function: they are more in-tune with the physical world.
To many people, INFJs look like homebodies who have their heads stuck in the clouds, while ENFJs are socialites who are down-to-earth. But, in reality, both types take on multiple roles, but one role is a little more prominent than the rest. In other words, I’m a homebody, but there are days when I’m a socialite, and others when I put on even more hats. The same goes for my sister, and I believe that it’s safe to say that this concept applies to all personality types.
In all, my twin sister and I are similar, yet different. We are an ENFJ and INFJ: opposites who hold the same core values. Though we have days where we seem like complete strangers to each other, there are others where we are sure that the universe made us twins for a reason. The biggest truth is that we complement each other very well, and though we strive to give back to the world as much as we can, we only ask for one thing:
Slow down, and take a few more moments to look at us, and I mean really look.
Then, if you’re brave enough, say hello. You will definitely be surprised with what you find out.
After all, we’re individuals who just happen to be twins.