Many things to consider, especially when socializing with dominant Sensing and Intuitive types, is their means of communication. From my past experiences and observations, I have seen a major difference between the two, especially when both types would share their thinking and perceiving views.
Put Water and Oil together. Do they mix?
While certainly, any type matchup can work with lots of effort and dedication, there is still the reality that certain types get along with each other on an almost spiritual level. Again, whether a relationship works or not, depends entirely on the effort of both individuals. Now then, let’s dig further into “why” the Intuitives(Ns) and Sensors(Ss) tend to have periods of tension, frustration, and oftentimes impatience in their relationships with each other.
Dominant Intuitive types tend to think about and seek abstract patterns, meanings, reasons (why), and the “truth” beneath the surface. They strive to find these things throughout life, careers, interests, friends, family, and even romantic partners. Dominant Sensing types are often attracted to passing pleasures, sensual experiences, going out and about into the world, seeking practical explanations (how), and to fully indulge in the present moment. They tend to find these most easily in social outlets with friends, or maybe in the facility of their own homes, with a ‘’hands-on’’ approach. Now that we have some basic knowledge of what these types are into, let’s get ready for business.
‘Why would Sensing types and Intuitive types find it frustrating to communicate with each other?’ Well, while it varies, I have seen it come down one or two ways. Both have very different styles of communication, just as much as the ways in which they perceive and judge everything around them. This goes for both Extraverts and Introverts, as well as Feelers and Thinkers. While the N-dominant might want to dive deep into philosophical conversation and abstract thought, the S-dominant might soon be bored or distracted with their particular style of communication.
Good Read: Introverted Intuition
This is because S-types will want to get involved in visible, easily bendable things. For sure, the N-dominant might sometimes find this behavior condescending, rude, ignorant, and very close-minded, therefore creating some form of ‘’tension’’ around them. For the S-dominant who wants to sit down for strict business, details and the out-and-about, the N-dominant’s way of thinking and speaking is likely to appear irrational and inefficient when compared to their own traditional values, practices, and beliefs. This is where it’s important for both types to set their boundaries and clear expectations on the relationship. Without them, the Sensing types can get carried away and step on the pride of the Intuitive types, creating friction.
Some other problems that might arise with this type of relationship
- Disregard for each other’s opinions.
- Not enough intimacy.
- Dissatisfaction (mental, sensual).
- Emotional and Thinking needs not met.
- Very uneven views/values/agreements.
- Communication is not there.
- You don’t see each other on the same level.
- Tend to feel/think higher/better than the other.
- Can develop self-esteem issues.
- Anxiety, depression, Cynicism.
But, while we did cover some reasons as to why a relationship with these two might have some friction, let’s uncover some other reasons why the Sensing and Intuitive types would likely grow to be more mindful and appreciative of the other. While their minds are wired in vastly different ways, both can still salvage their relationship with the ‘’few,’’ but very essential things that they have in common.
For most, and I might dare to say all N-dominant types have one extremely clear objective and goal that always keeps on floating around in their conscious mind. And that objective often is to share or influence the world around them with their insights and intuition. They rarely keep truly crucial discoveries to themselves and fully enjoy a conversation, or gentle circumstance, in which they are able to share the wonderful things that they have learned, are interested in and want more knowledge about. I wouldn’t set the bar too far off with dominant Sensing types either. In fact, if you look deeper into it, they might as well serve for that same, greater purpose. Though they just happen to present themselves in a different manner, with varying approaches. It wouldn’t be right to exclude either side of the coin, and generally, when this happens, it is often the result of immaturity, bias, and close-mindedness.
Good Read: INTJ Struggles
And it’s definitely an ongoing issue for N-dominants to feel superior to fellow Sensors, as a way to compensate for their uniqueness and grand ways of thinking. But this kind of thinking is wrong and it means it’s time to learn to be humble as an individual.
However, S-dominants are typically very prone to a quick dismissal of the N-dominant’s efforts to share their minds and interests, with the excuse of getting confused and dizzy. Not only that, but it only adds fuel to the fire in this case. For S-types to redeem themselves with their Intuitive counterparts, there has to be a common agreement. One where one tries to converse and politely excuse themselves when presented with information overload, and one where the individual vows to listen. Attentively. Both of these issues as I have previously mentioned, often happen as a result of immaturity. But it is precisely why, I urge to create awareness that the more difficult something is to get or enjoy at its full capacity, the much more precious it can become to the individuals involved in the long-run. It can be nice to connect to others of the same thinking and perceiving processes, but please understand, that for the individual to fully grow, they would have to be knowledgeable about others who might hold just as much, and if not more, valuable information than you.
Relationships shouldn’t have such boundaries, but no one ever said Life would be fun without these challenges. Now, let’s revise our perceptions of such relationships, and the many advantages that it could bring.
Some benefits that an intuitive and sensor relationship might encounter
- Different points of view (Multiple ways of looking at things).
- Desire to learn more about each other’s thinking processes.
- A well-rounded support system.
- Can balance and enhance each other’s weak and strong points.
- Lots of compromises and positive efforts to maintain a healthy relationship.
- Accepting of each other’s differences.
- Find each other’s weak points charming.
- Help each other be more familiar with their inferior function.
- More growth and development between the two types.
- Improved versions of yourselves.
- Learn to think and act in ways you’d consider foreign.
- See the world around you in new perspectives.
- Learn from each other’s habits and mannerisms.
Whoever said it would be easy, think again. Being involved in such relationships, whether by blood, friendship, or romantic choice, is one to remain dedicated to. Both need maturity, and the desire to work things through. But surely, these types can overlook the vast difference in cognitive preferences, as they become aware of the positive results that it could yield.
Thank you for reading this far.