ENFPs love INTJs and INTJs are often attracted to ENFPs. ENFPs are charismatic, flirtatious, bubbly, entertaining, and outgoing.  INTJs like their energy and emotions.  INTJS, are the opposite, quiet and reserved.  They are often described as being emotionally distant or cold.  While these two are different in many ways they have some things in common that make them a great pair.  In fact, the INTJ is an ideal match for an ENFP.

 Why ENFPs are attracted to INTJs

ENFPs are talkative, love attention, and enjoy trying to figure people out.  ENFPs tend to be energetic, emotionally expressive, and affectionate.  They wear their hearts on their sleeves and are quick to tell someone how they feel.  It’s easy to tell if they like you because they will tell you. They don’t hide their feelings well and tend to be very open with their emotions.

Even though an INTJ can come across as cold, ENFPs are attracted to this calm and matter-of-fact personality.  ENFPs tend to seek out partners that are emotionally stable and logical, perhaps because it helps balance them.  Though sensitive, ENFPs appreciate honesty in a relationship and knowing where they stand with someone.  They like people that are direct and like the logical nature of the INTJ.

Why INTJs are attracted to ENFPs

INTJs are analytical and quiet.  They tend to struggle with their feelings and take a long time to open up with someone.  They are known for being hard to read and being logical.  They wear their emotions on the inside.  INTJ struggles with expressing their feelings and is fascinated by the ENFP’s ability to just put it all out there. 

INTJs seek out personal growth and may take on “fix-up” projects, including the ENFP.  They may see potential in the ENFP, and get satisfaction from helping them achieve their goals.  INTJs live much of their lives in their own heads and enjoy the way ENFPs express their feelings so easily.

What they have in common

Aside from sharing the intuitive function, ENFPs and INTJs are similar in how they think and feel.  Their thinking and feeling function is just done in a different order.  They are both introverted feelers, which means they both make decisions based on their emotions versus purely on facts and logic. ENFPs place feelings overthinking.  They are more aware of their emotions and think things through based on how they feel.  INTJs are more logical and think about a decision first logically and then how it will make them feel.  Still, both use intuition and emotions when making decisions.

Even though the INTJ may appear to be cold, introverted feelers are more sensitive and empathetic, which is important for the emotional ENFP.   INTJs are not expressive with their emotions, but they are emotional, they keep their feelings on the inside, which makes them  difficult for others to read

ENFP and INTJ:  Why they work

One of the reasons this pair works well together is because they complement each other.  It’s often said that opposites attract, and this couldn’t be more true with the ENFP and INTJ match.  The ENFP’s energy and spontaneity add a little excitement to the more stable and steady INTJ.  The INTJ also finds their outgoing personality exciting  Since the INTJ is quieter by nature, this gives them an opportunity to shine alongside their popular partner without having to deal with the stress of being sociable themselves.

These two love to help each other achieve goals.  ENFPs are often disorganized. They may have a million ideas and projects going at one time.  The INTJ’s calm nature is good for the ENFP.  They are able to help them to slow down and think their ideas through   The ENFP is an ambitious dreamer and will encourage the INTJ to reach their goals.  Both personalities are intellectual and enjoy deep, meaningful conversations. 

Struggles for ENFP and INTJ match

ENFPs like to talk about their feelings.  They like to talk everything through and express every single feeling that goes through their head. This need to talk about things may frustrate the INTJ.  INTJs tend to think things through in their own heads rather than talk about them.  The ENFP may check on the INTJ regularly to see how they are doing.  INTJs, on the other hand, don’t feel the need to check in with someone or ask how their partner is feeling.  They internalize their feelings and don’t enjoy talking about them.  They are not always aware of their own feelings and may not pick up on their partner’s feelings either.  An ENFP often looks for comfort and may talk about issues simply to vent.  The INTJ doesn’t do so well at being in tune with the ENFP’s emotional needs and tends to try to solve issues in the relationship with logic.

Hints for the ENFP partner

INTJs need a lot more alone time than ENFPs. Give your partner space to read, think, and be alone.  Don’t take their alone time as a signal that something is wrong.

Don’t interrupt their projects. They are logical and goal-oriented.  If they are working on a project, they may get annoyed with interruptions and your need to talk when they are trying to get things done.

It’s okay if your INTJ partner isn’t interested in socializing as much as you.  Let them do their own thing while you go out and socialize.

Don’t force them to talk about their feelings.  Your partner processes emotions differently.  Allow them space to work through things in their own head and let them talk to you about their feelings when they are ready. 

Appreciate their input.  ENFPs struggle with criticism.  If an INTJ is giving you advice, it is not to criticize you.  They are trying to be helpful.  While their input, at times, may hurt your feelings they are generally only trying to help you.  They appreciate you listening to and trying their suggestions.

Hints for the INTJ partner

While INTJs are great listeners, they don’t always give their ENFP partner the emotional support they are looking for. Simple comments like, “I understand” go a long way to make the ENFP feel supported.

Understand your partner’s need for spontaneity and doing new things.  It may frustrate you to see your partner taking on yet another new obsession or project, but let your ENFP have the freedom to do these things.

Pay attention to your partner’s emotions.  Expressing emotions is a big part of how ENFPs communicate. Sometimes they just want to know that you care about how they are feeling.

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